we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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