I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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