Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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