can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
i think my cat just said my name.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
