I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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