I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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