your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
