Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
