Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
