So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
