i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
