He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
