Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
