I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
