My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
