shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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