I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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