I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
