I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
