At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
