She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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