i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
