I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
