and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
