I wish my penis had an off switch
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
