Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Randomize
