As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
