The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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