either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
