You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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