apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
