bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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