I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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