the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
