Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dick very happy bro
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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