I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
