my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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