I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
