gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
