big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
