1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
