it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
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Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
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Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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