I bet he comes in French.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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