Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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