why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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