i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
