We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
