I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
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Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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