Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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