whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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