i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
