Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
