Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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