He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
