He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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