God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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