I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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