My friends, they love my intelligence
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Text me some of your sweat
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
