We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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