Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
