I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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