Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
